Sunday, May 25

I think its really time for me to sort out my feelings and write him a letter.
Though i wrote alot but i dont think anyone of it fits.
I do think of him occasionally but whenever i start to write..
My whole mind went blank. I dont know what to write at all.
I only write rubbish & nonsense these period.
Ive been stuck for months. Its really time for me to face the problem.
Instead of avoiding or running away.
Many asked me to wait cause he was really nice and he changed for me.
Many asked me to move on cause he was the one who didnt allow me to pull him back during that peak period.
So now, im really puzzled. WHAT SHOULD I DO MAN! FUCK.
Okay, i know ive been repeating these for like hundred times?!
Bear with me till the problem really settle.
What if..
-I wait for him and when he comes out. Everything changes and i dont feels the same.
-I dont wait for him and he go berserk. His friends and family have to bear with him.
And i might live with guiltiness.
Some of his friends support me no matter what decision i make but some of them dont.
I'm so stress! Recently, i realised my drinking is getting worst.
And my gastric been giving me problems!
I think instead of him going berserk. I'll be the one.

Everyone needs love.
But whenever a guy really fall for me during this period of time.
I dont know what to do. Jus like i'm really lost in the jungle.
I dont know how to fall in love once again.
Im just afraid.. Bad things will happen again.
Ive to bear the pain again. I dont dare, i dont wanna.
None of my relationships have been smooth. None..

Recently, been really in love with taiwan drama shows.
I start to have the belief of fairytales, true love.
Darn! Alright. I know im being really stupid and naive to think this way.
But sometimes, it's better to live in dreams than in reality.
Suddenly, really wants to be in love again.
A rocky love instead of smooth and boring one.
Something that really test the both of us.
I think it'll be really fun and interesting!

And one last thing,
That means.. I only need to pay for my shopping jus like KL trip.
So cool. But so sad, precious aw wont be with me.
And i really spent money like drinking beverages.
You know why, everyday late for work. Almost everyday take cab to work.
Money is rolling away from me..
And my wounds hurts alot ):
End here. Goodbye!